The Truth About Fitness Standards (And What They Don’t Tell You)

We live in a time where fitness is everywhere—scroll through social media and you're hit with a parade of abs, clean meals, gym selfies, and women who seem to have it all figured out. And while there’s nothing wrong with feeling proud of your body or celebrating strength, there’s something important that often gets left out of the conversation:

Fitness doesn’t have a look.

As a personal trainer and health coach, I’ve seen firsthand how skewed our perceptions have become. I’ve also lived it. There was a point in my life where I was the leanest I’d ever been. The kind of lean that gets attention. I had visible abs, defined muscles, and the kind of body that people often associate with “peak fitness.”

And you know what? That version of me was praised constantly.

I got compliments on my discipline. I was asked what my secret was. People assumed I was the picture of health. But here’s the truth:

I was the most unhealthy I’ve ever been.

Behind the perfectly posed photos, I was dealing with disrupted hormones, poor sleep, anxiety, low energy, and a constant fear of gaining weight. My cycle was irregular. I was always cold. I was tracking every bite, pushing through exhaustion, and living in a body that didn’t feel safe or sustainable.

And yet—because I looked a certain way—I was praised for it.

The irony is painful but important: the thinner and more shredded I got, the more people admired me, while my health was quietly falling apart.

Now, I live in a body with a healthy level of body fat. I eat enough. I rest. I lift heavy. I have energy. My cycle is regular. My stress is lower. I’m a sleep queen. And most importantly, I feel good in my skin.

Here’s what I’ve learned, both from my own journey and from working with women:

🟡 Women need a certain amount of body fat to function properly.
Essential body fat isn’t just about aesthetics—it’s about hormone health, fertility, immune function, and long-term wellbeing. When we dip below what’s healthy for us (and this number varies by individual), our bodies start to break down, no matter how “fit” we look on the outside. Also, on the other side of coin, an excess of body fat can be unhealthy. Either extreme isn’t ideal.

🟡 The fitness industry often sells an illusion.
Many influencers live in a constant state of prep, dehydration, or burnout. Some are competing. Others are editing their photos or only posting during their leanest phases. What you see on Instagram is a highlight reel.

🟡 External validation can be a dangerous drug.
It’s easy to get hooked on the praise, the likes, the compliments. But if your health is suffering underneath it all, what are you really chasing?

So what does real health look like?
It’s eating enough to fuel your training.
It’s having energy to live your life outside the gym.
It’s not fearing rest days or birthday cake.
It’s lifting for strength, not punishment.
It’s respecting your body—even when it’s not “shredded.”

If you’ve been feeling the pressure to look like the women you follow online, I want you to know this:
You can be healthy and strong without being ultra-lean.
You can have visible muscle and softness.
You can look average by Instagram standards and still be in the best shape of your life—mentally, physically, and emotionally. Remember that ‘Instagram standards’ aren’t real. It’s not something to strive for and the standards are unrealistic and unhealthy.

Fitness is not about chasing a look. It’s about building a body that supports your life.

And your healthiest body might not be your smallest one. (it probably isn’t!)